It is spring in the Pacific Northwest and the Coast Salish native Nootka Rose is singing through her scent to all who linger long enough to receive her subtle sweetness.
Last weekend I guided a dance ceremony that we lovingly refer to as "Dance Church" on Orcas Island, unceded land of the Coast Salish people.
This island by the way, is in the shape of lungs which relate to the emotions of grief and wonder from a traditional Chinese medicine perspective.
The power of grief runs deeply through the fabric of this land. Surrounded by water and often cloaked in a blanket of mist, her fluid nature has a feminine quality that allows one to tap into your emotions and creativity, or meet the blocks. She (I refer to the island as feminine because that's how I relate to her) is known for "calling" people here to heal, which is also fertile grounds for art-making and a deeply rooted community that relies on one another to get our needs met.
Orcas is not an easy place to live year-round, and my friend and teacher Paul Chiyokten Wagner - Saanich wisdom keeper, activist and founder of Protectors of the Salish Sea - shared with me that his people only visited to harvest fish and to hold ceremony. His indigenous ancestors brought their sick and dying family members to the fresh waters of this island and carry out healing or death rites, sometimes burying their people with the trees.
For those who are sensitive, this power is still felt.
In my early days here as I took to her forests and lakes as a solo wanderer, I would more-often-than-not fall to my knees in a grief spell. An apology and a request for forgiveness for the colonization of this sacred place would come pouring out of me as I wept.
It was only after I made my offerings of song, prayers and salt water tears to feed the land that I noticed a shift in the energy, as if a veil would lift and genuine gratitude would wash through me; feeling awe for the generosity and beauty of this land that still stands, offering her medicine and gifts to those who find themselves here. Ahhh yes, grief's partners - awe and gratitude - also flow plentifully here.
Painting by Rose Unfolding.
Sometimes a grief spell would open me to what Francis Weller calls the "hall of sorrows," where the shadows of any unprocessed grief would reveal itself. As a somatic practitioner, I practice listening to my body's subtle cues and saying "yes" so that their wisdom can come through whenever possible...
One day on a solo mountain trek, I was tending to a particular strong sensation of stuck grief and my body wanted to curl up into the fetal position. As I curled up beside the oak tree who overlooked the Salish sea, it was as if a key turned a locked memory open. I had the somatic knowing that I was in my mother's womb and I began to weep her tears. The oak tree held me as I wailed this grief that wasn't mine but had been in my body for my entire life. I began to speak to my mother from my fetus self, with the wisdom of my higher consciousness, soothing her with words of hope and faith.
Painting by Autumn Skye Art.
If this sounds psychedelic, it was! While ingesting psychedelics such as mushrooms can aid in reaching an expanded state of consciousness where quantum healing is possible, it's not necessary. Our body is psychedelic when we support ourselves to expand our consciousness through somatic practices such as intuitive movement, breathwork, chanting, drumming or meditation. In these states, our right brain -who is responsible for creative, non-linear and intuitive thinking- becomes activated to meet our usually dominant left brain - who is responsible for analytical, linear and rational thinking.
When our right/feminine side of the brain and masculine/left side of the brain are working together rather than fighting for dominance, incredible healing is possible. However, many of us have been conditioned to prioritize our masculine/left hemisphere, who can thwart our innate healing capacity by judging the process of analyzing it to death. Thankfully, the ancient body-based healing arts are becoming more available so that are collectively remembering the power of internal masculine/feminine harmony.
Photo on Turtleback Mountain by Hayley.
So as I write to you about Nootka, who is blooming in seemingly every corner of the island, gifting us with her sumptuous aroma and playful color that mirrors our own sensuality and beauty, I want to honor the context in which she blooms.
While we receive her sweetness for about a month out of a year, the other eleven moons are spent in the other parts of her cycle: her petals kissing the ground, energy pooling into her hips who are rich in vitamin C just in time for fall, the death of her overground body and the stillness of winter where her presence recedes to a mere dream.
Thank you for all of your unseen work, sister rose. Your courage to be delicate, to work slow and in cycles, inspires me.
Painting by Autumn Skye Art.
Rose lessons:
to be soft and open
does not mean to constantly soften and open
it requires a deepening into my roots
allowing for grit, decay and death
honoring my thorns and my standards
using my voice to say THIS IS MY TRUTH
so the wisdom of my heart can feel protected to blossom
Nootka rose gives her sweetness willingly and wholly
if you can cross her protectors, her thorns
and her blooms last but a couple of days
before the cycle turns and her petals kiss the ground
feeding the future ones
her flowering played its part
attracting the pollinators and medicine makers
but the bloom is only possible when the whole cycle is honored
so while I let her aroma and beauty delight me
and bliss dances in my heart and hips
from her graciousness and playfulness
I acknowledge the unseen devotion
that led to this moment of her offering
I see it in the leaves gently swaying with the wind
it's because of the strength of the entire tree; the entire forest!
that they get to be so free
I see it in my body
the parts of me who feel light and spacious
because there is an equal and balanced rootedness somewhere else
could my neck be like a leaf
who doesn't grip in fear but trusts the whole?
my pelvis reminds me to root
and my neck sighs with relief
we may glorify the opening
but it's only possible because of it's opposite that we flower
so wherever you are called to tend
be it your roots, stem, thorns, buds, hips or blossoms
trust in your process
as my dance takes me into the grit and dirt
I find myself counter-balancing into a state of ecstasy
made possibly because I gave myself so fully
to gravity
What is rose teaching you this season, my friend? Or if rose does not grow where you roam, what other local plant allies are near, and what might they have to teach you?
As you might guess, my favorite way to get to know plant allies is to dance with them! Here is a playful playlist I made for my dance community with the intention of meditating with rose.
I invite you to create some space alone or with friends to check in, set an intention and just move. See what wisdom teachings arrive through you. Share with your peeps or send me a message! I would love to hear.
(( THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU. ))
In body and soul,
Hayley
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